Yes I know, where are the DIY stories? What a let down, right? Well, what can I say except that I’ve been stuck indoors wishing the rain would sod off so I can get stuck into the garden. The good news? Well it’s finally gone and I’m out of excuses.
Building our garden has taught me three important things. Firstly, if you order a skip then it becomes a beacon for any of your neighbours that you’ve never met to pop over and say ‘hello’ quickly followed by ‘do you mind if I pop this enormous item that I can’t be arsed driving to tip in there’? I’ve also discovered phantom skip dumpers, who wait until we’ve gone to bed, then ever so quietly drop in un-needed bikes, boxes and even the odd frying pan in the dead of the night.
Secondly, I’ve learnt that when visiting a timber yard it’s best not to turn up in your smart work attire. They’ll quickly figure out you’re an imposter and bamboozle you with enough timber jargon to make a lumberjack uncomfortable. Also, if they say talk to ‘Dave’ in the yard with the measuring tape, don’t assume the security guard who also has a measuring tape is called Dave….he’s not and doesn’t take kindly to being called Dave.
Finally, when navigating a trolley full of heavy plants through a nursery, beware of the Yankee candle display. It’s likely to be hidden from view, but just at the right level for you to knock it over.
Having learnt those important lessons I am pleased to say we’re done. Well almost, but at least we can now sit outside without feeling like we’re in a car park.